THE desire of all parents is to see their children live a happy, productive and fulfilled life. They also want them to be happily married. But grand desires can only be actualized if conscious preparations are made towards them. Parents need to prepare their children for marriage while they are still single because lack of preparation is one reason marriages fail. As a parent, if you want your children’s marriages to last for as long as they live, you have a responsibility to help them get ready for that desired blissful home; you should prepare and equip them to enjoy all that Almighty has for them in marriage.
To be prepared for marriage, your son needs:
– Gainful employment. He should have a means of livelihood that can sustain him and his family.
– Good accommodation. He should have a well furnished home for the comfort of his family.
– Hard work. He should be a hardworking man so that he can adequately provide for the needs of his family, especially when he starts having children.
– Emotional preparation and maturity. Marriage comes with different kinds of challenges. So, he must be prepared to handle such marital challenges with appropriate maturity. He must be dependable, honest, accountable and responsible.
– Selflessness. He must be concerned about members of his family and place their welfare above his. The mindset of ‘me’, ‘my’ and ‘mine’ in all things should be jettisoned. He needs to know that selfishness can destroy his marriage.
– Life skills. Teach him life skills like financial management, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence that he needs to help him lead his family successfully in an atmosphere of peace and security. Also, teach him how to cook and do house chores.
– A good understanding of the nature of women. He needs to understand the peculiarities of the female gender, the mood swings they have especially during pregnancy and child birth and other changes, and learn how to treat them accordingly. He needs to know his wife’s likes and dislikes, emotional peculiarity and love language.
– A protective mindset and patience. He must learn how to protect his home physically, emotionally, spiritual and from external aggression. He should also learn to exercise patience, even in provocative situations.
-Wisdom and handle issues. He should handle issues with discretion.
-A sense of humour. He should learn to have a sense of humour, he should not be too uptight and moody because most women want a man who is jovial and optimistic about life.
For your daughter to be a great helpmate in marriage you should teach her:
– How to organized and take care of the home. Teach her basic housekeeping skills and train her on how to ensure the atmosphere in her home is always filled with love, peace and fun. She should learn to tolerate, forgive and avoid nagging.
–How to cook. A popular cliché says the way to a man’s heart is his stomach. So, teach her basic cooking skills and encourage her to learn more about local and international dishes.
-How to submit. Good commands that women should be submissive to their husbands. So, she needs to understand that and willingly submit to her husband.
-How to manage money. The ability to manage finances is very important in marriage. Good financial management skill will save her family from waste and extravagance. Also, teach her the dignity of labour. She should support her husband financially rather than be a liability.
– The art of compromise. She should allow her husband’s final decision stand where there is a conflict of ideas.
-How to be emotionally stable, accommodating, respectful and patient. She needs to be mature emotionally and accommodating so as to wisely handle situations in the home as well as in-laws and visitors. She must also learn how to control her tongue.
–Moderation and decency. She must be decent, clean and moderate especially in her dressing. Although outer beauty is good, she should focus more on her inner beauty as this will radiate her godly virtues.
Our children need to know the Lord personally and put Him first in everything they do so that all that they need for a happy marriage can be given to them by God.
Many singles make some mistakes while preparing for marriage, and more often than not, these mistakes turn out to be a clog in the wheel of their marital progress.
No doubt, getting married is beautiful, it is one of the happiest times in every single’s life. But it is important for all singles to identify certain pitfalls and then, try as much as possible to avoid them, so that they can save themselves from unnecessary heartaches both now and in the future.
Below are some pitfalls you should avoid while choosing a life partner
Undiscovered life purpose. Finding and living your purpose is very important in life. Your ability to discover and understand you divine purpose will determine to what extent you will be fulfilled in life. Seeking a partner before purpose is like putting a cart before the horse – you may end up getting frustrated in life.
– Idol in the heart. This is a situation where people appear to seek God’s directive or guidance in marriage when they’ve actually already chosen someone in their heart.
– Walking by sight. This implies that you should not marry someone because of what you can see in terms of beauty, wealth, position, prestige and the likes.
It is paramount you avoid all these pitfalls before going into marriage and when seeking a life partner. And depend completely only on your creator and you will never have any cause to regret
It is true that marriage can be sometimes tough, it is true that there can be no rose without thorns, and life generally comes with all manner of challenges. You have to take it all in stride with the determination to make your marriage work.