It just started like that. Nothing triggered it, nothing! I didn’t see a movie, I didn’t read a bad boy magazine, I didn’t see a man with six packs and heavenly toned muscles to die for, I wasn’t even thinking about it, my people, it just started. Hey….. See wahala, what’s going on? Body go just dey e own and begin to misbehave. How na? How can you not be around anything that will trigger a spark, and a spark will just start like that?

So I began to pace in my room, grinding my teeth, hoping that my brain will concentrate on other things.. But for where? My mind was centered on dwelling on konji that I couldn’t do anything about. Then I run outside, bought chewing gum, started chewing… But for where? Body say today na today. Then 20 minutes into the rubbish, I went to mama Bose just outside my house and bought cucumber. It’s time to help myself.

So cucumber is on the table, sterilized (thoroughly washed with vinegar) I can’t afford to have any yeye infection. Then something tells me:

babe, you don’t want to start what you cannot finish, you don’t want to start helping yourself, and get addicted to masturbation that you can’t stop

That must have been the Holy Spirit fam. I began to kabash and distract myself by dwelling on other things. And the worse thing is that I don’t even have amazing male friends that will tell me to calm down. Believe me fam, anyone of them I had called would have just said “let me come and help you” Which wold have been nice, but I didn’t want that kind of help. 45 minutes later, I’m okay… Sweating like a Christmas goat, looking at the cucumber and saying “wow that was close”!

Girls too experience konji. Serious konji! And it doesn’t happen once in a month. In fact, I wonder if it doesn’t happen more than it happens to guys?. But toh, I’m not a guy. How will I know. However, regardless of all this konji that hammers us any time, the society has unconsciously said let’s not talk about it. It has been made to appear like only men have sexual urges that are hard to control. That is not true… We have uncontrollable sexual urges too. We get turned on too… To the extent of being restless until we get a solution. But around here, a woman is not supposed to express how she feels too. She’s just supposed to suppress her sexual urges till she becomes frustrated, even when she’s married. You would be surprised at how much strain is placed on marriages, because women are expected not to express sexual urges and communicate how they would like to be loved or touched.

This lie that it is only men that get konji, has given a lot of men excuses to think that they have to do something about it. The narrative that it is hard for men to control themselves has given them reasons to think that they can not control themselves. And we support them. We even help them to make these excuses “no blame am, na man“,  “you know say their own dey hold them too much” “my dear, e no dey do women like e dey do dem” As if God created man to be exceptionally randy. As if God can be so unkind to give them a small dose of self control. And we encourage it. As if females too don’t get horny.

Konji, is not a respecter of anybody. It is high time we agreed that it happens to both sexes. Also, that both male and female, we have no excuse to cheat on our partners. Because you see this thing: to succumb to sexual pressures, is a thing of the mind. It is a choice that we all agree to. A stronger sexual urge from both gender is no excuse. By the way, now I’m eating my cucumber with carrots, cabbage and cream. I have used it to make salad. My victory salad. I deserve it. Today I have overcome.

let me do sharp sharp and get married. So that I can tell hubby “honey, can you come home early today? ” and the guy will just code.


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