I found ways to remain poor since for many, the ways to get rich has become somewhat cumbersome, “undoable” and just impossible.

1. NEVER wake up early or never wake up at all. Just sleep and live your life as a dream, literally. Ease in and out of different dreams and do NOT get up until you have exhausted your dreams for the day. Or until you are too hungry to keep your eyes closed.

2. Don’t plan your money- just spend and spend and exhaust your money. Then when you are done wasting it, grab a cold drink(if you still have enough change to afford that) and reminisce on how you should have planned before spending and how much you have wasted. Then sulk(if you have enough shame to do that)

3. Don’t invest- you earn so little yet they tell you to invest. Are they crazy? How dare they? You can’t invest since you don’t make millions. Ignore them and move forward without investing. Enjoy yourself, exhausting all your salary/allowances until you make as much as Dangote.

4. Complain about everything- everything, everyone, the government for not giving you money at your doorstep, your parents for refusing to spoon feed you as old as you are and the banks that have refused to loan you money. Sulk about them, open youtube account and record videos, hurling insults at them instead of doing something sensible with your time. Yes, do just that.

5. See the bad in everyone except yourself- you are a saint okay? So you never do wrong, whatever you do is right and every other person is wrong. Jeez, you are just not claiming to be Jesus cos somebody already did. You are just damn sinless. This should happen in your work life, your financial life and in your whole life.

6. Spend more than you earn- who cares right? It is your money! So blow that money fast!

7. Compete at the expense of your pocket- your neighbour/colleague at work has just got a new car or accessory? Then buy something more expensive. Do this everytime someone buys something new around you.

8. Give your children everything they ask for, before they ask for it without letting them learn that life isn’t exactly a bed of roses. Then let them grow spoilt, rotten and pampered, without learning how to save. So you can grow old and die in misery with nobody to take care of you in your old age.

Categories: Lifestyle

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