So, I and Le Boo were having a conversation, and we got talking about how people often sell their stuff first, before they sell themselves. I don’t want to brag about my babe, but when he is not my muse, he is inspiring my piece. Okay, let me leave my boyfriend matter, and talk about why we are here

Something my boyfriend said got me thinking, and I will like to share it with you. He said and I quote “… that is why God introduces himself as I am” it may sound funny, but God has set a style on how he would like us to first of all introduce ourselves. You see, he created us in his image, so he knows first hand, how a proper introduction ought to be done, especially when it regards building relationships.

What started the conversation was my sister saying that a guy walked up to her, and introduced himself as “doctor Kenneth”. According to my sister, the first thing that came to her mind was: and so? You are a doctor? Ehn ehn? Should that entice me? Should that make me want to know you more? That title alone put her off.

I know what you are saying now. What has that got to do with anything? Chill, I am getting there. 

See eh, I understand that a basic male instinct is to provide and to feel worthy of provision, but that shouldn’t be what being a man should be about. Have you ever wondered why men complain about women walking away when there is lack? Why women don’t stay, or change when their partners, and by partners I mean males partners do not have enough? Perhaps, it is because when they were approached by these men, they were wooed with  the impression of – “I have come to provide, and I can provide”

Perhaps, the “Millennials females do not commit”  “they do not have the patience of their mothers” “they don’t want to go through thick and thin with you” and other numerous complaints of millennial males about their female counterparts is a reflection of the male. If a messenger comes with a personal arrogance, and yet a message of humility, the message is often ignored.

All this to say that if you approach a lady with  a; this is what I can provide attitude, you have automatically eliminated the chances of being known. You have shoved aside your personality: kindness, smartness, love, intelligence, sense of humor and other great qualities that you possess, by your actions. By pushing your affluence forward before you, you have buried you six feet beneath your wealth. 

And so, when your wealth and all that you have is first of all considered before your emotions, when you are not treated with respect and kindness, when your humane side that needs loving and support is totally ignored and your partner is just there for all that you can give them, you cry foul. Yet you forget that it was you who did not introduce yourself with who you are, but rather with what you have and all that you can give. There is this saying: “if you begin by giving people too much of yourself first, they will fall in love with your hand and not you”

God himself, who is the maker of the whole universe. Sorry if you don’t believe that, first of all introduces himself with what he is. He says: I AM. So in essence, he is saying see me first, as a person that you can relate with and as time goes on, we can talk about how: “the earth is mine and the fullness thereof. All that is in it, and all the people too” 

I am not saying that you should not be proud of your achievement, talents, abilities, influence wealth and assets, all I am saying is be human first. Approach with the human side of you. The part that laughs, cries, plays, jumps, gets angry, gets tired, gets broke and yet is still a man. And as time goes on, we can talk about all that you have and what you can bring to the table. Because after all said and done, real women want real men.

#TheNextLine

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