All of you planning to go and fornicate and commit adultery before lockdown, are hereby warned that it will result in either an STI “7 days with scratchy parts and painful urination is not a good thing”, covid19, you didn’t know all the niggas that came back from Abuja and Bauchi are in town abi? or that December baby you are not thinking of getting.

Those of you thinking about prowling for sin in your neighbourhood should remember that rape, sexual assault, child molestation, incest and other such acts are illegal. We should start campaigning for paedophiles to be castrated in this country.

If however, you’re camping your lover in the guest house, know that the lord according to his plans will bude asirin ku duka. If you’ve been touching improperly the housemaid and the house boy, this is the week that your immoral behaviours must come to light.

Today a friend called me suggesting we do a BBN quarantine house show. That’s how I am observing social distancing oh and the people I know are pushing me to sin.

On a normal day, Unku’s house is stocked up for a month, man can cook, has a barbeque grill and a three-bedroom flat in Atiku street, Remember How Joe Heman doesn’t like Rayfield boys? Well me I like this one. All he claims to need is more water of life, people he claims “like you to come and be free and creative.” If you know what he means.

I am suspecting the stupid boy just wants to strike “Had an orgy party during quarantine” of his silly bucket list. To be fair, that list has dragged us to lamingo dam for a party that ended by 2 am, back of Mee’s palace for fire in the evening, and Tudun Wada for the less discussed debauchery in our little community.

Sha, global population as of 2017 was projected at about 7.7 billion. I am of the reasoned opinion that global population by December 2020 – March 2021 will be at about 9 billion plus or minus.

What do you think human beings will be sitting down at home and be doing? If I say sex, and you say pray na you sabi. Uber facts said that ” Having sex once or twice a week can strengthen your immune system.

I think our immune system needs a boost. “Wanna do a pre lockdown tumble in the hay?” Asked Ndam to a beautiful girl.

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Pre Lockdown P***k & P***y = ??

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