A new wave of women are springing up, and they seem to be
misunderstood or maybe they are misunderstanding themselves. I saw a
tweet, and I quote “this generation of women will not take what our
mothers took”, and I say yaay! Yaay! for feminism, yaay! for
women’s right, yaay! for women’s power.
Honestly, I am all
for women power. I am all for women calling out the bullsh*t that men
give us, all the rules that men say we must conform to, all the
ideals of what a typical woman should be, I am all for calling it
Yes! A woman should
be allowed to live however she chooses to. Housewife: her choice.
Career woman: her choice.
But here is my
concern. The attitude that we carry around of not taking the
patriarchy bullsh*t, I fear might make us loose out on wonderful men.
I know that there
are men who think that their father’s promiscuous attitude was the
norm. in fact they make excuses like:”but our mothers stayed”
“but all men are prone to cheat” “but our mothers did not
complain, because they understood that the marriage institution is
greater than anyone’s happiness” such myopic point of view abi?
Like did you ask
your mum, and she said she was happy? Did you ask her if she would
have done better if she had a choice? Was your mum as empowered as
the women in your generation? And when I say empowered I mean
financial, social, and knowledge wise. Women who can hold their own
regardless of a man. Women who all they need are love and attention.
I mean, does it not
make men sad that they watched their mothers slave for the family for
the most productive part of their lives, while their fathers were
gallivanting around from one girlfriend to another? Does it not worry
them that their fathers had no regard for the marriage institution,
while their moms were patiently waiting for the day the man she
married will become hers? And when he did come around, he was already
spent. The youthful, playful and agile part of him, that she got
married to, was already lost to the younger women who he spent most
of his youthful life to.
Now, she has lost: a
companion, a warm hand to hold her on cold days, and perhaps a
healthy man to take a walk in the park with, because he probably came
back to the “wife” he kept at home, now that his health is
Sisters, am I saying
your mind? I know you are probably saying: preach sister! Yes girl! I
know sister, I am with you! Who will want their lives to be like
Yet, there are men
who hated it passionately! Who didn’t like what their fathers did
to their moms. Who have decided that they will treat their wives
differently. Who have said to themselves, I will do better by my
Now, how do we find this kind of men, if we carry around the badge of “I don’t want to marry my father-like” attitude around? Does that not somehow blind us to the fact that there are men who try their best not to be our fathers? Are we not quickly qualifying all the men? Is it not unfair to those ones who are trying to be better, every time we accuse them of our fathers’ mistakes? Because after all said and done, they are truly not our fathers.