The Zucker-space is the one place you’ll find new knowledge about the human nature that Biology and psychology won’t teach you.

If you find your self at a dissertation defence, a business seminar, a market place, a wedding reception, you can be certain you’ll learn premium packaged human characteristics on Obasanjo’s internet. My little experience in the Zuckerville taught me to taste and see, before concluding on anyone.

Here are some popular types of people you’ll find sharing this space.

These ones are living comfortably in a duplex of narcissism, but if you are not weary, they are the wokest who always have contrary opinions to every fun trend online. They will not participate, yet they have a problem with people participating.

Those who killed the trend are their major focal point, but those who appear stupid on the trend gain their reactions and laughter.

These sadists include even our celebrities, motivational speakers and strong people gang. When you look carefully, their posts, their opinions are always oozing low self-esteem and insecurities. They shield their narcissism with humor and cover their sadness with the pleasure of causing others verbal grief.


The intellectuals are the ones whose reactions on your posts, you feel like screen grabbing it and showing it to the whole world, you know why? Because it doesn’t come often.

These ones are always on some deep intellectual awareness campaign. If you are a dummy, you will find them really boring. They live at the right corner of the Zuckerville, on a street called the Glowville. They are always glowing with knowledge. Zero Facebook drama. Don’t you wanna be a glowville? So you can give some light to your dark shallow skin.

Their sad reversal is that they enjoy questioning faith, if your faith in your belief isn’t strong, enjoy their sagacity from a distance. Dont fall for their intelligence. The curse of knowledge is real!


These ones are the big people on Facebook. They don’t post, they don’t have one single original idea, yet they always have a problem with people’s ideas especially if it involves politics then they become area scatter.

You will find them posting pictures with strong captions, they hate being challenged but they love to challenge people with their low borrowed opinions. Their maturity is often a shield to make up for their small penises or peach boobs. Ba su son raini ama su ne mazan bakin magana.

You can find these ones in the eastern corner of cluelessness. Actually, these ones are the remixed version of the sadists. They are higher-tech simply because they don’t always talk on their personal page. They are comment champions. They go on any posts that seem appealing and they use it to empty their sadness.


Everyone loves them, everyone wants to fuck them. The dilemma of beauty. Their likes and loves are from 200 to when they hit 1k then migrate to IG for proper slaying.

My sadness is that some of them are actually intelligent, but they refuse to show it cause it won’t get them the approval the body gets.

The lot of them are however as dumb as a wood. Sorry, but you fine no come get sense. Nothing you sabi, no opinions, no thoughts, just pics for the glam.

But las las, me self like that kind thing. I hear say them de cashout small from the pics..

We all love the funny ones. We bask in their giving us sometimes originality. Other times we know the joke was stolen from Twitter but we like them so we don’t call out their plagiarism.

Deep within however, the likes and the shares feed their empty souls. Outside Facebook, they’re the quiet kids in the area, shying away from toasting babes their age but the things in their heart are deep darkness.

I have more love for them. Facebook has taught me to pray for them, their sadness is real and they mask it to see you smile. I don’t love them that way, but I love them for their efforts.

If a joker is intelligent, guard your head and your pynt. They know how to shift it. One minute you’re laughing, the next minute you’re breathing hard.


These ones don’t have a problem with anyone, they are the ones focusing on their businesses, career or whatever goal. They are the ones with 50likes max. They are the ones that are trying so hard to enjoy their data, they can’t buy data and come and play.

Some of them try to make us enter the dm so they can cheat us. They don’t care what y’all are doing as far as they sell you their stuff. Sometimes I feel fed up, like open a Facebook business account for crying out loud.

I know we were friends in JSS3, but i want you to also treat me as an old comrade not a potential investor all tbe times.
I respect the hustle, but respect me back.

So which one are you?

Categories: Lifestyle

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