“Jazmine please now, just the tip. Is this how you want to leave me?” Some girls are just evil. I touch you, you touch me, I kiss you, you kiss me. Then you want to leave me like that? With this stiffy?

5 Annoying Hours Later!

Kai! “a’uzubillahi mutumina, ai Shataniya banzan che na giya ma.” I’ve been chasing Jazmine for over three months now kai ma ka sani; we did the Jos boy things. I visited her at ringroad, We went to West of mines, we visited S&G, we went to Varlaine, I did Airtel Sub (like who does Airtel sub), I liked her big tummy, I supported her make up ambitions.

Mutumina na gaji, yarinyan nan za ta kashe ni, har yau din nan ba ta ba ni ba. Shegiyar ta na ni man aure ne fa.

As I narrated the gist to Pkay, I could see the disinterested look in his eyes, I think he was more disappointed that yet again I had failed in my overtures with Jazmine. He nicknamed her “Doro”, if you don’t remember the song just let it go.

Everyone knows who’s straffing who in Ringroad. Stupid area, I don’t even know why pretty girls like there. there’s no light, gentlemen of the night love that area as well, like why Ringroad? I don’t recall if anyone has ever gotten a ring from staying in ringroad.

“Guy, gaskiya ka yi ma yarinyan nan nice guy the yawa. Soyaya zai chinye ka” Pkay muttered under his breath as we saw Nen passing. I knew he liked her, average height, no breast, no ass; she was like one of them prepubescent boys. But she was fucking smart though, could keep a conversation on Shakespeare and molecular chemistry. Nen does not reply “kul n u”, nobody we know has ever seen her pants. Pkay’s only reason for his exception.

As I watched him catch up with Nen, I recounted my experiences, more like counted my losses. Perhaps it was because I used the phrase “just the tip”; has that phrase ever benefitted any brother? I’ve told Salma the same thing, Bolbyen has heard the phrase as well but I didn’t get shit.

I swear it’s the phrase, I’m not using it again. That shit is jinxed

During devotion, the lord decided to drop some sub for me. “. . . The other wing five cubits – ten cubits from wing tip to wing tip” like dude, a stiffy is proper punishment enough., why add guilt to the mix?

I think to succeed, “one must have the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing master” this na the normal Jos way, though we shroud it in a twisted moral complex where outsiders will think that our society is so chaste where men only see vulvas in the hoof prints of goats and women see penises in the shafts of pencils.



Just The Tip

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *