The subject of the “Male Virgin” has been a touchy subject from time immemorial.

To embark on this journey, I have sought guidance from Voltaire, as he aptly captured it by saying:

It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.

Moving further without any additions to the sagacity of Voltaire; “yay” sayers in a Man’s world agree that he must not render account for all that his third leg did. The “nay” sayers disagree sharply and argue that all acts be accounted for especially the first.

I believe that as men, it’s time we do the equitable thing. The right thing.We must demystify this virginity thing, for the greater good!

First off, male virgins are pretty common. You just have to know where to look. You don’t expect me to reveal that kind of information do you? We can’t afford to have one mamalawo looking for their virginity for “research purposes”.

Then, their acts. You see those demons that will kiss you for hours and their hands won’t unclip your bra or go for your zipper button? Ta da!

If you dating and dude doesn’t want the cookie, one of two things. First one is “you’re a beard sister” or the bastard doesn’t know how to uncork the cookie jar.

Know what? I give up. A male virgin is rare. It’s like looking for the glowing forest of Shikoku on Harmattans dawn, or the Gutenberg Bible. Look at you silly extremist already wondering why a bible is on my list.

On the basis of equity, I think all those people that want to marry virgins should ensure themselves to be virgins. It’s only right, you cannot demand for something you do not have.

Some of us don’t even want the virgins sha, no be say I want use the thing go baba place. Small time she go de talk “you disvirgined me”. Me that somebody disvirgined, I cry ne?? People be guilt tripping.

Anyways, the whole mystery of the male virginity revolves around the burden of proof. In a lot of women, it’s the rupturing of the hymen. In all men, its the loss of virtue.

I know you don’t want to believe me, but let me explain it in a way your naughty mind should get it.

A lot of women hold on tenaciously to the memory of their rupture, they can describe the size of the phalanx that thrusted itself into them and at what velocity. They still shiver in thought from the pleasurable pain, they recall their screams as a rendition to a diety.

If a girl keeps reminding you of how you  broke her virginity, I feel bad for you son. You have 99 problems and a girl behind them all. Like literally that girl can undress herself under the starry of the night and swear for you and it will catch you.

Men on the other hand have a sleepy conscience. Those who remember their first are often those who were abused. To all those who were violated, we pray healing into your life. It can be tough, but we pray you find the peace you deserve.

With mens sleepy conscience and stubborn lack of shame, the memory of the first is often added to a list of “done that”, now who to do next? Becomes the pertinent question.

I think in this mystery, God entrusted man with a higher burden of chastity. He didn’t want you to just keep it, He removed the need for showing working or providing proof because He trusted you.

Finally, there’s no mystery behind a male virgin. We exist, and its just a will of iron. I know a few more of us, just hit me up; we can be simplistic in their views of love, and I hope that they get the 1 virgin they rightly deserve.

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