So this story is not mine alone, and I apologize in advance to all those whose experiences I’ve taken and weaved my perspectives and thoughts into it. My defense is in the words of Chinua Achebe, if you don’t like my story, go and write yours.
I’ve never been a fan of love, but in recent days, I’ve found myself doing things that I normally won’t do, apologizing for sins I didn’t commit and a deep seating longing for a face I can’t see. I can’t wait to be done with this phase of my life, i need to get back to hating love. This is not a declaration of love!
I used to snicker at the hopeless romantics, and laugh at their antics and how far they’d go cause of love, but look at me now.
So we were driving through town and a friend made a turn away from our agreed destination. Now being a very curious person, I watched carefully as he subconsciously drove us to his girlfriend’s house, parked and dialed her number. He literally forgot my existence in that car within the 2 minutes it took. I thought man was coo coo until it happened to me.
My own encounter was absolutely funny. I took the long way to a meeting and till today, I can’t explain why I chose that route. I even stopped to call her if she was free. Face palm across the face. I feel mentally drained.
Society needs to make up its mind with the warnings though. Should we chase success and leave the girls? When do we come back to find the girls we want? Should we take all the girls that chase us when we become successful? How do we know what we want with no experience at all? I hate when I have so many questions.
I think we have all these things entangled. For our sake, we need to be clear. If its to study purely, lets go to a monastery. If you know you’ll want grand kids in the future, teach us to socialize appropriately and to treat each other with respect.
Of all the warnings to not take to heart, the lot of us often refuse to take the one given about love sha FYI.
When I was younger, the instructions was to stick to my books, be successful and everything else will follow especially the finer things of life. I did that, but my success meter needs to be recalibrated in line with current realities. Your boy is broke, send work my way.
I know someone who was real lovey dovey with the girls. His only use for english was writing and receiving handwritten love letters, man even had girls traveling across state lines for him. The whole shebang. Man’s pretty successful by society’s standards now.
I was recently talking to a friend who was been serenaded on all sides by a boy who likes her. She likes the attention, but she doesn’t want it from the source. Local man literally lit up a neon sign filled with all signs of affection. Only to be brother zoned. Damn!
I can’t say if public displays of affection are shows of love, but in any case, some of us can’t help it especially when it comes to people we are not certain love us back.
Andrew recently told me to love people who love me. If only it was that simple. As humans, it’s like we have the flaw of being in a sort of lovers loop.
An example will clarify this: Let’s say I love Jemimah, but Jemimah doesn’t love me the way I love her, but she loves Andrew and Andrew doesn’t love Jemimah like that cause he loves Nanret.
Imagine this scenario expanding. That’s the lovers loop. No one gets what they want except the barest minimum from someone they think they love.
Blessed are those whose love is requited in full measure for theirs is the kingdom of bliss.
I think we all deserve our crazy moment. We are all crazy in someone’s love story. In my case, I don’t think I like this crazy very well.
For all its worth, we will remember how the person made us feel during those moments, and how we felt.
I’ve had people I literally went miles for who never crossed the gutter for my cause. And I’ve also had people who moved mountains for me, and I kept crossing the only line they said I shouldn’t cross. I am not proud of myself.
Finally, its okay to not be loved back in return, its okay not to get the same energy you put into it. All that matters is how you respond to it.
The simple reality is, there’s no manual to this thing. You do what you can to make you happy, then in between, you decide if the other person’s point of happiness aligns with yours, then by all means, if they agree to share their moments with you be happy if not be contented that something stirred your heart.
I don’t think there’s much we can do to make a person love us. I know society has also imprinted the idea of gift giving, PDA’s, sex, and other things as ways of inducing love. I don’t know jack about this, and this warped ideology is not mine to demystify.
Ultimately, for some of us we choose our sufferings and loving those who do crazy things for us isn’t a trait we find appealing.
May the Lord help us.