“I love you talk your own.”
Anon.

I think the phrase above was uttered in a comedy skit, the simplicity of it has remained with me for a long time, and I remain in awe of the brave man who laid precedence for us to follow.

It is easy for women to say “I love you”. For men? Let’s just leave it as the question that it deservedly is.

When I tell people I’ve never asked a girl out, they often wear the cloak of justice and proceed to brand me a prevaricator before damning me to the jails of “playboy”.

It gets worse. When I tell girls that a girl asked me out, you literally see the vein pop in their forehead out of utter disbelief, a Nigerian girl asked you out? Was she high? What did you do to her? Dear girls, is it a part of your laws not to ask guys you like out?? We should discuss this over a cup of tea and crackers.

I have no answers though, but I agree that she ruined my innocence.

Recently, I found a girl I like. Look, my head is a convulated place to be in. I savor the organized mess, but when a woman is involved? I’ll declare that I need intervention.

The first day we talked? I was silly enough to call her ” lover”. As if that wasn’t enough? I meant it. I think some ladies hate when you tell them stuffs and mean it.

Anyways, all this rant is because I don’t know how to ask a girl out. Don’t look at me like that, it’s not my fault. Women haven’t agreed on what they like.

One told me “You better bring flowers and cake if you want to ask me out”.

Another told me, ” He better asks me formally, in fact in writing self or else i’m still single”

Recently? My friend told his new gf “I love you talk your own”. And she said ” I love you too” while laughing hysterically.

Oh well, me? I told her “I really really like you”, and she stared into my soul with her deep brown eyes unflinching and wishing out my spirit to say the lie. Perhaps if I had said ” I love you talk your own” she’d have said yes.

Take my word for it, look for an Igbo word to use. That language has wealthy words for love.

I also have heard of people who started dating without any formal agreement. I’m still curious about the rules governing all these love things.

The problem for me is that I often use my head to fall for love, and my heart to fall for words. Sucks to be me.

Oh well, this rant needs to end here before I start crying and whining to my phone.

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