Whoever imprinted the idea of ” Marriage as an ultimate goal” to some people did our community a disservice. Apparently, the ages of 22 for some girls, and 27 for some guys is the year when pressure starts budding.

The infamous “I want marry” syndrome infests the mind and riddles the thought of everyone into succumbing to the ideals that marriage is an ultimate end goal.

Don’t get me wrong, marriage is one of few institutions I still respect. I think its one of religions finer points, getting human beings to stick to one or three partners.

Oddly enough, I’m pro-divorce as well, I don’t know how that looks like in my head, but now that I’m typing it, I feel there’s an intellectual inconsistency in my head. P.S. I’m also awesome at double think and holding multiple contradictory opinions in my head. Sometimes I’m mad like that.

Anyways, if your whole idea of adult life is marriage, have you considered who will impact the society you want to live in? I saw a post about “changing the world while you’re unmarried, cause once you marry, you won’t be able to change the TV without permission”. That silly phrase has stuck in my head. Thanks for nothing to the person who posted it.

A couple of my like interests got married last year. Apparently one of those days we went for a night cap or morning soiree and they asked me “Ndam, when do you want to marry” and I stupidly answered “. . . Maybe 2 or 3 years”, twas not a good enough response for them. They wanted me now? I don’t even want me now! Why will somebody’s daughter want me now?

Anyways sha, I may be down to a wedding, we can use that money to do exorbitant things no one will remember at a reception that i’ll be mortified of dancing, then the world will go back to its lives, and I’ll work 9 – 5, bring work home and look at you with my lying eyes, fall asleep and leave you in lingerie wondering whether you’ve sinned against my ego or shrivelled up parts.

I know “ready” is never a time, someday perhaps I’ll be ready. Someday perhaps I’ll find what y’all call love and I’ll try to find reason to kick it to the curb. Today however is not the day.

PS 2 of my brother’s married from Southern Kaduna.

In my mind, HELLO Southern Kaduna girls. Oh wait, I knew one and she wanted to marry me when I was fresh from law school. All women are the same. Tsk!

Don’t tell me about the future blessings of marriage, yes I want mini me’s demolishing shit, and unscrewing TV sets, especially giving their mother a run for her time. I however want them in a society I can be happy about.

Finally, I’m not yet married cause like you, I don’t think its your time to die yet.

The pen that writes from the scourge of early morning conji. See how it got me all riled up about marriage.

Conji is just a bastard!


I Wan Marry Syndrome

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