How to talk to Girls.

Today is Saturday, and you’re probably at a wedding already. Being your guy, it’s my duty to arm you with all you need.

The reason most girls fall for bad boys is because bad boys know how to talk to them. As a recent convert from the dark side, I think its time I equipped the good side with some hacks.

Before I proceed, a lot of guys forget that they’re fine. I want you to know that you’re a fine piece of creation especially with your quirks.

The first thing to note is that we are not asking for her hands in marriage yet, lets not miss out on talking to the girl we’ve been looking at for the past hour.

Second, nobody is above you except God, and today he’s on your side. He’s your wingman. Having an extra wingman like me is never a bad idea, but the rule to note is there’s no level above you.

Third, know what you want from the beginning. If it’s love you want, it helps to know from the beginning. Being guys, it sucks that we often always want sex from the beginning. I don’t know why, but it’s a valid foundation as well. Many a guy have found themselves at the altar having gone only for sex, we wish us all well.

Finally, the ultimate reminder is the L factor. We must always take our Ls gracefully.

Now that we are done with that, lets get to work.

It helps to approach her if she’s alone, nerves are a wreck but chew a gum, eating reminds the nerves that there’s no danger. It’s easier if she’s alone, approach her from the side. Never from the back, and if you come from the front, you’re the honey badger of us all. If she’s not alone, throw all caution to the wind and proceed as planned.

Personally my innocence does me a lot of good, and this is where I sometimes utilize my nerves. I’ve told a girl straight up that my nerves where acting up and i still wanted to talk to her. Her laughter calmed me and it was the beginning of an exciting friendship.

Other girls like confidence. This is where you must remember that God is on your side today.

I often introduce myself, surname first and initials, and offer my hands. I’ve heard that an open palm facing upwards is a sign of openness. Hack, call her by her name several times during the conversation. It helps you remember, and it makes her know you’re attentive.

Kings, remember her name!

Calling her “baby” or “dear” is not acceptable. There are exceptions however, but you should pay me for those.

We had a friend who was so nervous he forgot her name and called her by his Exs name.

Those first moments will be your deciding moments. She doesn’t know you, the idea is to know, and be known.

As at this moment, you’re forfeiting the right to looking at other girls, eyes agape.

If there’s an available seat, ask if you can seat. If she’s standing, ask if you can join her.

From now till the next 30 minutes, anticipate the “yes” “no” response. Ergo, ask open ended questions.

Asking a girl what she does is open enough, but anticipate a shorter response.
Ask her what she likes, it helps if you know about it, but always ask for more. This is the Oliver Twist standard.

Remember also LISTEN!
For the love of baby Jesus dont turn it to a police enquiry. It’s supposed to be a conversation. Don’t cut conversations short unless you absolutely have to.

I wouldn’t ask a question I wasn’t interested in the answer, eg “do you have a boyfriend”. Why the fuck do I want to know that for? If she doesn’t say it, she’s single. Let’s not start reminding her of her other allegiances.

We all think bad guys are rude and discourteous from the onset. Well No. They’re often attentive, caring and tend to find a balance between their act and what the lady needs. Then they give the exact opposite.

You shouldn’t just be talking without listening. Listen, and watch. If she feels uncomfortable with your presence after a few moments, take your L. “don’t leave when another guy comes. Assume for all purposes that he’s her brother” unless she says otherwise.

Employ wit and humor. In the words of Tyrion Lannister “who needs money when you can make a woman laugh?”. Do you know why ugly guys tend to have beautiful female friends? They know how to make women laugh, and they take their Ls gracefully. The idea is to make y’all laugh, not be a clown.

Congratulations if you’ve done all these, and the conversation is still ongoing. The next stage is crucial. Don’t forget to ask for her number, if she refuses ask for her Facebook name or email. Don’t look at me like that, just do it.

I think I’ve done more for you in one post than your shrink in a months paid session. If you’re interested in more, hit me up.

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